I thought I’d offer a response here for consideration based on what we talked about this morning and this is just a discussion for starters to help understand the difference in how NLP considers language and suggestion:
1: Notice you are only speaking of the mother, there is a father or birth partner here for consideration as well
2: There’s a really good chance he’s done all the preparation with his wife too, and you can check this out with him
3: Check the position: Are you: Associated/ Dissociated? Do you want them :Associated/Dissociated? Associated –
she’s in the birth, labouring, and now has to make a critical decision about a procedure that’s technical and potentially life altering for her or her infant - she is "seeing herself" feeling her feelings and perhaps listening to her own internal dialogs = Associated
– it’s a conversation happing before anything else has even started, it’s just a discussion, something to be reviewed any questions? Great sign here.... and it's done.
With regards to these discussions be sure you speak to them in a dissociated way…don’t use words that would associate either of them into the the procedure…it’s just for INFORMATION ONLY!
Hence INFORMED CONSENT
….now you have the information and you can consent by signing here.
Just providing information does not ask them to consider “if their child got stuck in the birth canal, if the head was too big, if their baby was in stress, if we need to move your birth along as baby could be in trouble”….this is all ASSOCIATED language.
And it’s negatively priming the couple for the ultimate disaster and the only reason you are using this is to MOTIVATE them, (move them with intention) to signing the consent form.
Read your forms, understand the difference and you can weed out any “associated” language.
Just like the walk along the beech, you were associated, then dissociated.
What language are you using? THIS ASSOCIATES THEM:
Are you getting them to SEE what you mean (visualizing)
Are you getting them to hear your voice going over and over the same points (Auditory) how many times do you repeat the negative priming?
When you talk do they start getting into a tense state (feeling)
Avoid words like, Your, you, will happen – creating images for them they are making real for themselves (association)
Check their feelings by noticing if she’s grasping his hand, or arm…that’s associated and she’s just anchored the state in herself and him. Informed consent
- "sign here, this is a procedure that sometimes happens and if we need to utilize this later in the birth we’ll let you know, but this is just a formality!"
If they have questions – answer them, and stay out of the details that will associate them into it becoming their reality – and believe me they can Google it and will and probably will have more information on the subject that you – that is recent and more up to date. By the way this is how things change too. We found out the forceps birth was not great, so someone invents the suction….hopefully something else is coming down the pike- very soon!
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