A word about the “PAIN of Childbirth”:
There’s a difference. Until you have a baby you don’t understand pain can be different. "Isn’t all pain, just pain?" No, it’s not.
If you can imagine opening the car door, placing your hand in the car door jam, and then having someone else, SLAM the car door as hard as they can on your hand….then opening the door and releasing your fingers – very painful, intense, and most importantly – it doesn’t STOP…it just gets worse until you get drugs!
For most of us on this planet, that’s our view of pain. Something hurts, it’s not going to stop, may get much worse, before it gets better and you will probaby need drugs.
It’s pain. And you want to scream and often do- if such intense pain moments happen. And the pain does not go away, it gets, worse, more intense. There is no break in the pain, drugs are very definitely required and very soon.
This is everyone’s association to PAIN – until a woman has a baby, she has the same association….and the PAIN word gets used when it’s really not applicable….
Childbirth is nothing like this.
Truly, if Childbirth was like slamming your hand in the car door, the population would have died off millenniums ago in spite of the benefits of orgasm…no way, or we truly would have figured out a way to get the guys to do it.
Here’s some words associated with childbirth:
Stretching feeling (you get to feel this all through the months of pregnancy anyway – and no man’s belly swells this much in just 9 months – they can’t relate)
Intensity – more of this
A little more uncomfortable
Discomfort in the back, the lower back…..
But here’s the piece
It doesn’t STAY THERE….it moves! And it’s not consistent either, like the hand in the door jam thing.
At first for 30-50 seconds, muscles tighten & RELEASE – completely.
Women often smile at this stage and feel, I can do this! OR, conversly say to themselves, "if it feels like this to start and it's going to get way worse, I'll never be able to make it without drugs"
Then 4-5 minutes later, the muscles do it again!
Then again, and again and again….here’s where women get a little edgy…. And after a while, they get closer together but that’s a good thing...
Often the resistance sets in at the best part, as the surges get closer together – which is good news, everything is coming to a conclusion, however, many women tighten up here, even with HB, and feel like something weird is happening and they get another sense of focus going on…STOP EVERYTHING.
This is not helpful, as you are almost done, and this can actually make things go longer.
At the end of this discomfort, IT ALL STOPS COMPLETELY..and you feel nothing, just like you did in between the surges.
Nothing? Nothing! Always, returning you to the same place you were before the muscles began to tighten in the first place! Nothing.
Back to the car door….notice it never stops once the pain starts.
Childbirth, notice it goes into the tightening for about 60 seconds max….and then stops for 4-5 minutes…where there is Nothing!
Notice the difference in the experience of PAIN
Childbirth – Dis-Comfort - Car door Slam – Screaming pain for as long as it takes to get the drugs.
So what is the other part that is going on here?
Women think Childbirth is going to eventually become like the car door experience. And it’s our conditioning…we don’t have anything but our experience to reference when someone tells us about childbirth, using the word PAIN.
The body stops and gives you a rest after every surge! And just before baby is born, the body often rests mom for up to 15 minutes or 20 minutes between the surges, allowing her for a good rest for the final few surges….as the uterus catches up to the descending baby.
The closer the surges get to each other, the closer to the end of the whole process you are. This is a good thing.
Childbirth is not like slamming your hand in the car door or any other pain/suffering/intensity a person will have with their body in any other situation ever. Not like a tooth ache, not like a broken anything, not like surgery, not like a cut or lacertion...not like any of that.
Childbirth “Dis-Comfort” it’s different….
The body designed it this way, otherwise, no matter how great an orgasm felt, no woman would do it!
Are you kidding me?
Childbirth is not an accident or injury or illness, – it’s a marathon.
You practice before you run a marathon don’t you? You hydrate during a marathon, wouldn’t you? –to ease muscle tiredness stay hydrated? You want your coaches with you don’t you? You want to feel in charge of your body don’t you? You would want everyone around you focused on your work, wouldn’t you? You want people around you that are on your TEAM, not trying to steal your finish line….right!
Some athletes need drugs, Some that get injured, need to be treated as a medical issue. This happens.
It’s not a scary thing, it’s not a time to doubt yourself, it is a time to practice beforehand, and know what you are going to be doing for certain! Know what will be asked of you, (could be anything) prepare for it.
Be ready, you could sprain your ankle during a marathon, stuff happens. Have a blueprint, be flexible.
FEAR during childbirth creates anxiety & tension in mother and baby….if you know what you are doing, prepare and practice in advance, then you don’t need the fear part either! Just like that!
Amazingly too, the body just releases the baby and the placenta and returns to normal shortly thereafter. C-Section and other interventions can interfere with this return, however, those are necessary to secure the outcome, so in these cases, just give yourself the permission for healing for 6 -8 weeks
And Heal….you have a baby and are now learning how to be a mother….onto the next stage of life!
Oh and of course the great reward of birthing is the massive release of endorphins & oxytocin through the mothers body at the moment of birth. It’s so huge it lights up the whole of the birthing room, everyone gets happy, you can’t help it, it’s so powerful, it’s the chemical of bonding, and mothers and babies find each other, and know the love that flows between them, and it’s Love.