Yesterday I did a rather large piece with my VBAC mom and her husband. They have been fighting for a long time, almost non-stop since the first birth, 18 months ago and she’s pregnant now with the second one.
She cannot – not see the C-Section
She cried and cried yesterday as I said to her, "if you don’t stop looking at this C-Section in your past, you are going to create it again."
She looked at me like I had two heads. “How do I stop doing that? I don’t think I’m doing it too much”….her husband shook his head, and said “every day, you talk about it, all day, all the time, around their daughter around anyone that will listen”.
She was aghast and feeling he had betrayed her, and was about to attack him, angrily, tears streaming down her face, “well you don’t know what I’ve suffered….”
And I stopped her. She was not happy with what I was doing, but after all, I’m the stranger! I can be replaced, so I went on.
I said to her, “I don’t want you to think about a purple monkey”. She thought, and looked at me. I said, "you can’t see anything but a purple monkey right?" She nodded.
I said, "this is the way your brain works. Wanting to stop thinking about something, IS TO THINK ABOUT IT." She was feeling a little broken down now, so I moved in.
I asked her to think about a time when she was deliriously happy, excited and filled with love. It took her a moment, but her face shifted and she went into the day her husband asked her to marry him. She smiled and the tears cleared, I anchored that state. Then I asked her to find a time of great determination, fierce protection, love and strength. She found it when thinking of her little daughter. I anchored that! Then I asked her to find a state of hilarity, laughter, what made her laugh. She found it, and laughed until she was feeling a little hysteria…I anchored that!
Then I asked her to think about the last birth and the C-Section, and fired off the anchors….she laughed, she couldn’t stop, she had entirely different feelings. We then got a word for her, that made her laugh and anchored these new feelings to the word.
I sat beside her and every time she tried to go back into the negative emotions around the C-Section, telling me I was being unfair, because this was really serious, I just touched her arm where the anchors were and she started laughing...so hard...
She gave up and laughed. After a moment or two, she calmed again, and I pushed the anchor again. She laughed and looked at me in shock, "I can't believe all you have to do is touch my arm and I'm laughing".
All her husband had to do from then on, was push the anchored spot and say the word and she would begin to giggle. We had dispelled the negative priming of 18 months of tears, frustration, drama and changed personal history for this mother.
During her next birth a C-Section was needed again. She was fine with this one, not a moment of regret or angst. Her husband however, was still fuming a week later after they returned home.
So we did some anchoring and the family is still laughing!